I am really down and know how it is to lose everyone by driving them away, and losing everything that was my private pocessions, and I even gave up and lost my dignity and self esteem. I am also queer, and spent most of my curious young healthy brain to be alert, and learnd as much as I could on how to not conform to the idea of what standards to abide to and stay clear of any subordinance I am expected to submut to because of my gender and its role in our culture.