Jane I understand how you feel I have been in denial for years about it never wanted to take meds and I do believe it progresses because I got so bad it started to interfere with work, parenting, and relationships. I finally am on medication and I am going to see a therapist because I to feel even though I have my BF and parents support no one truly understands me. I am also new here and so far in just two days I have learned a lot and the people here are all open helpful friendly and non judging. And of course some one will read your posts here you can be you and we are in similar boats and wish the best for one another.