Quote:
Originally Posted by prefabsprout
Hey Miss K, mostly just wanting to send you a hug, reading through this thread I'm wondering if you want to vent rather than get advice?
For what it's worth (you can take what you want from this and leave the rest) if I were you I would take the pressure off myself by not looking at this as a 'date' but rather the next stage in a friendship. Could you casually invite him along to something socially where there are a few others in your circle already going? If he says no then no big deal you're still going to go and have a good time, rather than it being all or nothing. If he says yes then take it from there.
From what you write of him it sounds like you have the potential to be good friends.
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I think I just feel so badly inside about it that I want to not feel badly. So I want to talk about it. That is my main motivation for coming to PC and posting any time I do; I usually already know, rationally, what I should be doing. I mean...kind of. And then sometimes not. Sometimes when it comes to relationships with other people, I feel like I've been left out of a big secret that everyone else is privy to; everyone else gets how to have normal friendships and love lives, and I wasn't told the secret. I have virtually no support system offline, so I come to talk about these things online.
As far as inviting him with my friend group...I'd have to have a group in order to do that. I have a few friends, but it's not a group by any means. I can't remember the last time I went out with more than one friend to anything--I just know them all from very different things. Any time I've tried to get people together (like this past Friday for my bday) it results in people bailing for whatever reason so I'm just like, "Forget this," and I cancel.
Regarding B, he has a female friend in town playing a show. She is another musician, and currently lives in AZ (so not near us at all). I believe they're just old friends, but I honestly don't know if there is more to it at this point because all I know about them is what I've gleaned from social media. I know he's posted a photo of her this morning, and was still with her this afternoon. So...I'm thinking I either missed my chance or read way into things. Or that she's in town playing her show and they're catching up and I'm being a crazy head for nothing. All I know is that I have felt a knot in my stomach over it all day which is completely ridiculous because
I'm not dating this guy and have zero reason to be jealous. And I also know that this is so my pattern: get way too attached too soon, read into stupid things, make a fool out of myself, get jealous and crazy and weird, drive a guy who
may have been somewhat interested so far away that it's like pushing people away is my freaking job and I get paid six figures to do it.
*sigh* You guys...I just want to be normal. I'm so so
so sick of this.