not 15 minutes ago..i woke up with a devastating panic attack..i am in tears now and shacking as i write this

it probably has to do with my realization yesterday

but..why me? do i deserve that? have i done such an unforgivable sin to deserve this hell i am living in?

i am doing my best to correct and straighten myself up..i just need a break..i need mercy..is that too much to ask god for???