Hi all i'm new to this board but just needed to ask some questions which i probably already know the various answers to but i just can't figure out...bear with me please.

So im 19 in cali and towards the end of my first year of college i started going with this girl we'll call T, also a freshman. I knew she had a guy back home but from what i heard he was basically a player and she needed to get over him anywho. So we started hanging out got pretty intimate but not all the way etc etc.

Then we got to what we would do over the summer, and my first reaction was that i wanted to be with her. This gave her a vexed, concerned look but she said she knew what she had to do and that was break up with the bf back home. Obviously i knew this would be a lot harder said than done but for the time being i thought it was ok.

Two weeks after school is over i go the several hours to hang out with my buddy who lives near her for a weekend, and also hang out with her. While me and my friend are out, she txts me saying she wants to talk etc... so the next day i call her try to find out whats up she says she wants to talk in person...ok bad ideas obviously in my head.

So we meet up the next day and shes all happy, we go hang out in a park etc. Except thing is, i knew something was up, and while we were laying there she said she couldnt break up to the guys face that easily or whatever. I said that sucks etc etc.

Ok so i leave and two weeks later she goes to prom with him as he is in high school, and she didnt want to just bail on him a couple wks before prom. This obviously once again concerned me but i gave her the benefit of the doubt.

Online we talk and she says she finally decided she wants to be "single" over the summer, because she will be so busy with jobs, but if she was with anybody she'd be with me. That's ok with me, and in a week or so i'm gonna go back down there to hang out some more with her and friends... problem is, she isn't calling me when she says she will, she still talks to this other guy, she never told me it was over with him, she isnt really clear with anything she does, and i know she isnt the best at just DOING things (ie breaking up with the old guy)

So now here i sit, quite confused. I'll let it be known that i don't have the best self esteem at all, even though people tell me i'm good looking well built nice all that. For whatever reason i still feel like a little kid inside to an extent and im exceptionally nice and trusting to girls even when i feel like i shouldnt be.

Now she said for her and the guy it will be over after the summer even if they had stayed together, but at the same time she clearly makes overtones that she wants to be with me when we go back to school/in the future.

My problem is this -- i don't know for sure whether or not she is still with the guy...i don't know for sure whether or not she still likes me (as much as i pretty much LOVE her)... asking her the deal with the guy is likely to be confrontational and i don't want that. If i could turn back the hands of time i would just say she could do whatever over the summer and we could be together in the fall, but now that i have this emotional investment i feel like letting her stay with the guy at this point is extremely demeaning and i wouldn't respect myself, and how could i expect her to respect me after that? Not only that, but to know she picked another guy, one who i hear from many sources is not faithful to her, over me, who absolutely adores the girl, is so debasing and i really am at wits end at this point...somebody please help a brother ouut