Ever since spring hit (and hit again, good old Canada) my thoughts have been either really positive or really negative, no middle ground. I don't believe I have bipolar but there's definitely some sort of mood or thought disorder going on. I don't have bpd either which I thought maybe I had for many years, but I'm missing some key ingredients on that one as well. I'm just me I've come to the conclusion, a woman with ups and downs who has a horrible grasp on coping skills.

Anyways, got off topic there, I'm here to ask how you guys stop the thoughts of utter hate for yourself? It seems lately I've been on quite the self destructive rampage. From drinking heavily to three suicide attempts to hating myself and feeling so much rage and shame against myself then to be the funniest person ever and laughing and joking around and feeling genuine bliss and content with myself only to repeat and cycle once again. There's no cause for my changed thoughts, they just come out of nowhere and its baffling to say the least.

Can anyone help me change this?