I'm not sure if I am manic or was... I guess things probly worked out for the better; that guy never showed up I guess he was too intoxicated or something and was saying he had tuesday night off and could come over then and we could party or whatever. We did discuss some things which I think make things a little safer, but still it's kind of ridiculous or something... Like we said we should use protection and stuff... But back to general info, I have noticed I'm not sleeping too much or actually probly not enough either... haven't been wanting to eat much but I've been getting better about that; like I've been trying to eat more eventhough I could really take it or leave it. But the sleep thing seems kind of crazy. I have been sleeping 2 to 5 hours a night since thursday night actually and have been pretty functional which sounds kind of foreign to me. I feel like no one really has noticed a change in me which is absolutely fine by me; don't really want my family to know and am a little leary about talking to my psychiatrist about all of this because I have signed a release for him to talk to my folks when they go for team meetings at the psych program I'm finishing up. I feel like I am really wanting help in some ways but in other ways I don't see anything wrong and don't want anyone to know what's going on because I don't want to deal with this whole big fiasco that I think would go on had my parents found out. I'm afraid that I wouldn't be allowed around my younger brothers; that would totally devastate me and make things 10 times worse. I am still trying to make sense of things and really haven't gotten anywhere with that. More later I'm sure. thanks for listening all