it hit me yesterday like a brick

the reason for my 17 years of server depression..two failed marriages..every wasted job/education opportunity was porn addition

i am 35 years old now..father to a kid from my first marriage..my educational achievement is a lowly high school certificate..i have a low-paid job that i don't like and that's about it

so..what good is this discovery for me?

i already started porn addiction self therapy just 3 days ago but as i type these words..i feel very hollow from the inside..like a dead man walking

just this morning i was struck with a panic attack so powerful it knocked the socks out of me and i spent the rest of my day feeling like an empty shell during which committing suicide sounded like a very reasonable/logical idea

what would you do in my shoes?

whats the point of moving on? why should i bother?

will i experience happiness again?