I get that way, especially with my husband. And like you I regret it later.

I find that I'm worse when my mood is off, especially if I'm anxious, so for me I try to find ways to calm my anxiety, like breathing exercises or listening to a relaxation tape or app. Once I relax I seem to be able to listen better.

Unfortunately, I'm not very good yet about catching before I'm rude. By then it's too late and I've already hurt his feelings, but I keep trying to be more patient in hopes of catching myself before I open my mouth.