I've been refusing medication since September of last year. It's only recently that there's been mentions of BP. It was Type 2 initially but I was told at today's appointment that I was clearly manic. I was told Type 1 today. I've felt high all day. I think I was on one when I saw her earlier., loud and obnoxious. At least I've now presented myself in a non depressed state. She got very defensive when I challenged their use of antidepressants last year. She started saying that it clearly wasn't what was needed now. I have to go back to my CMHT again in 3 days. She mentioned mood stabilisers and antidepressants. I'm still not certain I want this treatment. It's manageable now but a full blown manic episode wouldn't be much fun I suspect. She said what I wrote this morning was helpful and to continue to log major mood shifts, actions etc. This is a worst case scenario for me now. I need to wait for the results of my assessment before I can let it sink in, but it's pretty obvious what I have. She seemed to think I've been mostly manic all my life and that it's becoming worse because of the depressions which have hit me in the last year or so. It's highlighting the mania even more. That kind of makes sense. This is such a confusing illness though.

What will likely happen with treatment from now in? Any help and advice would be great. Thanks.

T.