Quote:
Originally Posted by LuckyDuckie
I love my father alot and he's the only family member who calls and checks up on me but something he said to me still haunts me. "There's no point in you trying, your just going to fail anyways" We had been arguing so I know he said it out of anger but I just can't forget it, the words just wont leave my head.
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How do you make friends when you have trouble finding words to say? When you have no interests with them? When your so weird compared to them? I know what my problem is but I don't know what to do about it.
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Hi Lucky,
I think I understand what this is about quite well having gone through it myself.
Depression has one big trick. The trick is this: You keep thinking
"There's no point in you trying, your just going to fail anyways"
as your father said, and, you are probably naturally focussed very strongly on whether it is true or not, whether your father really meant that, if it is true, what it means for you, what you should do, and so on. These thoughts have a high emotional content and so they are very captivating. However, this is all hiding the underlying essential problem. To understand the essential problem, it doesn't matter if your father meant that or not or even whether it is true or not (it's not true, of course, in this case). The essential problem is just that it keeps coming into your mind again and again and again and again and again and again. The problem is not what you are thinking and feeling. The problem is how your thoughts and feelings are coming to you in general. For more about this see the notes on this post
http://forums.psychcentral.com/4369910-post130.html
and the top of the thread for more and for what to do about it.
As for how to make friends, I don't even think you have to worry about that. When you're depressed, it's very hard to make NEW friends because everyone can pretty much tell that something is wrong with you and that will make them uncomfortable. It's not that they don't like you, it's just that it's kind of a bummer to hang out with a depressed person. If you can get yourself on a healing path, though, I think you'll find that everything in your life gets better, including friends.
- vital