I get that. I just have to remind myself, and my therapist is continually reminding me, I'm not thinking rationally right now, everything is veiled through a mask of depression and that you don't always have to listen to what your brain tells you. Because rationally, I feel like it doesn't make sense for me to continue on. I also spent a lot of the last several years ruining my life. My issue was an eating disorder, but at the end of the day, I think it's all the same. I guess I'm just trying to believe that it is possible to change and that there can be meaning and happiness and goals and dreams and all that in life even if it doesn't work out exactly the way you had originally planned. And I do believe that some of the time...Can you try working on one small thing to change and see if anything improves?