Well hun, it's like this, are you tired of living the way you were living? I'm self employed and my meds don't zombie me. I'm actually quite clear headed and function well. Trust the process, don't be scared of getting well. Sure weight gain happens, some drugs more than others, but the ones I'm taking are weight neutral. Nothing a little exercise wouldn't fix. That's part of recovery, a proper diet, regular exercise, meds, therapy, and good sleeping patterns. Sounds like a lot but really isn't.