I find it very difficult to be working on becoming healthier when the others feelings are so strong. I know working in therapy brings about all these repressed emotions, which bring them to the surface, which is what is supposed to happen, but it sure makes it difficult to work on things in the present.

I had so much hate for my husband that it's difficult to look at him sometimes and I know this was one of the others who is dealing with the affair but it makes it difficult for me. I know, they are me but this all is what it is.

I guess T is right and "acceptance" is a key to healing. Just way tougher than I expected. After not having feelings for so long, having them all flood back at you at one time is so way over-whelming. My T is very good, this is just the process, I guess.

I think I'm rambling. I just don't know what to do with the flood of thoghts and emotions sometimes. I feel like I'm being thrown around in a cyclone, out of control.

**sigh**