I tried to help on a photography project today. I wasn't able to be helpful. I was unable to actively participate. The entire time I was wishing to be back in my house withering away in silence. I am slowly peeling back the edges of my mind and realizing that I have officially painted the concrete. I loathe the fact that I am so pathetically useless. I wish to be something I am not and everyday I am fighting with that Image in hopes that if I just study then I will be able to change who I am. But now all I can think of when I read is wow you are a pathetic sack of ****. You are never going to be able to understand anything. You are glossing over this page and retaining none of it, and worst of all not understanding it. Why do you keep trying? It's futile. This will never change. And that's when I am reminded of my friend. Oblivion. He is somewhat of a popular fellow. Millions flock to him constantly. Why should I not join all of those nice people. They seem to be having a good time. While most people here are kinda ****** to each other. and you know what? Any little contribution I make will be of no consequence. Because I am not capable of much. Well anyway, I kinda had an awful day. Goodnight everyone.