Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
What was the context of t saying she will be there forever? And was there a serious reason for her to break the promise?
I promised to be there until death do us apart but when my ex acted bad I ended the marriage. I know it is different but when I said vows I didn't anticipate my ex acting funny.
I am often in my former students life literally forever after they graduate they can always come and call and ask and I will be there for them.
It doesn't mean though if they ask for thousand bucks 10 years later I am going to give it to them. I might have a suggestion where they can get that money or if they are hungry I'll feed them. But if for example they become dangerous for whatever reason I most likely would have to protect myself and end my promise. There is a context to this "always and forever". How did she mean she will love you forever? Maybe she will love you big just not be your t forever? No one can be your t forever.
Could it be your t meant to be there forever in some context with whatever conditions or something went so bad that "forever" stopped being possible? Did she explain why she won't be forever there?
As about offering you a job that is unethical I agree. What kind of job she offered you?
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The bit in bold is why therapists should not make promises like we do in personal relationships. Once they make those kind of promises, all bets are off. I think it invalidates a therapeutic space as being purely therapeutic - because of course they are human, and their wants change, and nobody owes anyone else a relationship. Hence, being trained and having a zillion years experience and all, they shouldn't make those promises...
Oh, what caused her to end it was me getting annoyed at her cancelling for the umpteenth time. But there were long months building up to that. ALL which could have been avoided had her boundaries been clear and appropriate from the start.
I'm not dangerous and not asking her for money
The jobs were to ebay her things and her sister's things and split the money, and also to be a personal assistant to her in the clinic.