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I knew something was wrong or broken with me very early in life. PTSD never crossed my mind because I thought that was only something the people in the military got or from a war or disaster. Before the Internet was in every home and before I got a computer the only mental illness I knew of was depression. I have symptoms of that because that is part of PTSD but I felt something else was very wrong. I wanted to die all the time, I never wanted to go out or leave the house, I wanted to hurt myself and did. Then the Bulimia stared in my 30's after a suicide attempt. They released me the next day and I never got any help. 15 years later I could not take it anymore and made a therapy appt for the Bulimia because that is what tangible that I cloud explain. Walked in a Bulimic...walked out Complex PTSD, BPD and Eating disordered.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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