I think what was really disappointing about yesterday for me was that I had discovered that we were paying 3x as much for something as we should be. I found two other companies willing to provide significantly BETTER service for 1/3 the price... and the response wasn't 'wow, that's awesome,' but 'well, there must be something wrong with these other ones.'

Re: their range: I did ask them and they didn't have one. They did utter some numbers and what I had was well below the highest. I almost think that the CEO makes decisions based on his mood or something. The last time I had a set of numbers, he wanted us to spend *more* - and that was a bigger $$ than what we were talking about yesterday.

And when they choose not to act, the reasoning is that 'well, we are waiting for X.' Dude! You've been waiting for X for six years now!

I *really* need to learn how to disengage more. Not just from this, but from everything. I just get so... worked up. I was in a bad mood for a few hours when I got home last night because of this crap. Not good! And it's kind of bothering me that I thought being a consultant would solve these problems, but I am still getting too emotionally invested.

I think maybe most mothers may just be bad at teaching their kids how to drive. Mine thought I was going to hit something, so she yelled at me and I got confused about which was the brake and the gas pedal, so I *did* hit something (very lightly, no damage). All I remember in terms of instruction was 'I need this car for work, you can't wreck this car.' It wasn't meant in a mean way, but I don't think she could get over it. It would have been nicer for all involved if she had found some money for driver's ed for all of us (which she really probably couldn't). We all were late to get our licenses.

I believe you on the multivitamins! I keep forgetting to take them, but I've noticed the same thing. The therapy stuff sounds like a tough call. I mean, who wouldn't want to avoid working through all their crap? It just sounds overwhelming and horrible. There are so many more fun things to do with life than work through all our crap. How much does the frame contribute to the problem?

And this is one of those situations where it's just impossible to tell if it's some kind of internal resistance or a logical conclusion. I hate stuff like that! I wonder if it would be less annoying if you found a cheaper option? Do you *have* to address it?

The other changes going on in your life sound great - working, walking, getting out there. Spring has sprung! Today is probably going to be too busy for me to have much fun, mostly because something unexpected happened. It's one of those days where everything overlaps i.e. I have to be here from 9-11 and there from 10:30 to 12:30.