I'm not asking for the meds to create a life I want to have. Just to function. To work. To live.

To get up in the morning, go to work, go out shopping or something afterwards and think that today was a normal day. Not a good day. To not live in a pit for months at a time, lose massive amounts of weight and just be so detached from everything around me that I might as well not even be there.

I know meds can't give me what I want in life. That I have to work for. But I do want them to give me what I need; some stability from this stupid illness and all of the bull**** that goes with it. Away from the pit of despair and not so hypo manic that I could easily just think **** it, lets move country, let's go do some drugs,hit the booze, here's my awesome invention, why are you all talking soooo slow, no I don't have a problem, yes I did drink all of that and yes, let's get some more.

Sorry for the rambling.