I will probably end up asking. This whole situation is so 1999 (that reference is lost on anyone who doesn't know me, but that's okay. ). Point is that I need to leave this behavior behind. I told my friend last night that I realized I needed to stop being a weenie: do the things I have been wanting to do, say the things I need to say. I've been wanting a couple of tattoos. I have been wanting to chop my hair off for a while. I need to talk to this guy. I need to send a letter to my mother whom I haven't spoken to in 22 years so that she stops sending delusional and manipulative messages which taint every birthday and Christmas--at least to try to stick up for myself because god knows my family isn't doing anything. As usual. It's just a tattoo. It's just hair. It's just a guy, so what if he rejects me? I probably won't remember him in 10 years. It's just my mother--and I haven't thought of her as that in 22 years. Time to woman up.

And I agree, social media sucks. I deleted my Facebook for a while because it was too much drama and stupid stuff. I only reopened it because I use it to communicate with my nursing school cohort, otherwise I'm not on. The problem is that I do get some validation from social media. When I switched to IG from Facebook, it was originally because only about 30 or so of my people were on there, and I did enjoy taking photos and posting them for feedback. I didn't have any kind of rapport with B, yet. After he and I made the connection re: our moms and started talking, I followed him. Thus begins the downward spiral.