Quote:
Originally Posted by avlady
i hope you do get together with this person, if its meant to be you will somehow get to know him better and i would wait for a positive moment to ask him for coffee. maybe you don't want to but you could flirt some more and see how he reacts, if he's not interested he should tell you, if he is decent. i know when i wasn't married i loved to flirt. it was fun. maybe he is just flirting but he may like you alot too. good luck
|
Thank you.
You know...I feel like I'm in a rough spot relationship-wise. I want to be close to a person, but I am so untrusting, over-reactive, and sensitive when it comes to this kind that I'm afraid to get involved with someone awesome (even if they do miraculously pay attention) because I have destroyed my past relationships so completely, just really shot them down in a ball of flames. I don't want to do that to anyone else. (And since I'm trying to complete this degree and even go on to grad school, I also don't want to sabotage my future by going down with it.)
So much fear. So much. I wish I could just turn off the desire for a relationship but since I'm human, I can't. I tried. I thought I'd turned it off. I have all of these other goals I thought were more important than love and sex and the desire for closeness and even friendship. Turns out I was just burying it for a long time...then this guy came along and dug it back up. One of the main reasons I chose to go back to therapy; I'd always avoided relationship issues in therapy because they were so hard but I decided to make them (and the cognitive distortions which trip me up) my focus/purpose. I have to work on this.