Sounds like it is time for you to take over the getting of the medications etc----less dependence gives greater freedom, and a better chance of learning not to react to some else's standards. I had compulsive parents. It does hurt when what you have done is not noted, but what you have not...
What is important is satisfying yourself, and knowing yourself, so that you can become more comfortable in your own skin.
You are not a failure. You are a survivor, with a life ahead of, and around you.
Take care...of you. Mom is who she is, you can't change that, only how you deal with it. (easy to say, hard to do)