Hi, I am a 20 year old college sophomore studying engineering. I have not yet been diagnosed with bipolar either. However I have an incredible memory and can remember events almost from birth and my reactions to those events that are very bipolar in nature. Since highschool I was bullied severely which also attributed to severe anxiety I still suffer with. My mood seems to flucuate with the seasons. I completely fall apart sometime around spring and then began escalating into extremely delusional mania. This was so bad before that I was sent to an inpatient facility. I made a quick recovery, but nothing was done to address the actual issue. They believed it was just depression every time when in all reality it wasn't. I know this personally because it is all marked with extreme racing thoughts. I can actually play a song, do a math problem and maybe think about other parts of the country in my head all at once. I am not crazy and I do not hear voices in my head but this has been very traumatic. I feel like no one will listen to me because they think I'm trying to self-diagnose which I'm not. I just want help. Whatever type of disorder this is it sure does seem to me a lot like bipolar and I was wanting some advice as to the best steps I could take to getting a proper diagnoses without people trying to immediatly cram medications down my throat. This has taken a toll on my relationships to the point where I can't really even keep friends. I hate it and I want to do something about it. I want to make friends without pushing them away.