Also: You keep saying that having bipolar is going to change your life.

How?

Looking back you've been bipolar for years. Slapping a name on it now doesn't cause any of that behaviour to change. I'm asexual. When I came out as asexual I wasn't suddenly any more asexual than I was the day before I came out. You haven't changed. You've just added a new word to describe something that has been with you for a long time.

You are only adjusting how you think about yourself. Nothing else. It's just a label you didn't expect. ANd now that you have it when a doctor goes "hey, here are some antidepressants," you can go, "No thank you, I'm bipolar." ANd then you guys can have a conversation and see if a smidgen of them helps but won't get increased to super high levels.