thank you all so much for the support, I was seeing a pastor for counsel a few months ago but had to stop b/c he's in another town and gas got to be too high to be doing any extra driving aside from work.
So I think finding this forum is the best thing for me right now, and I
am so glad I did.
It did help to get my thoughts out . I just cant wait for the day that I don't look back so often.