well it sounds like you were on a very good track. where you fell off was letting her train you to give her her way. if she knows terrorism is going to get her what she wants, she is going to continue to use terrorism. keys to parenting are consistency and the fear of consequences from an authority figure. you need to be that authority figure that is consistent with the consequences. no matter how much she terrorizes you, you need to be consistent with consequences. there are two types of consequences, when/then conseqences and either/or consequences. when you give me the behavior i expect from you, then you can have the reward...i.e. when you behave appropriately, you can come out of your room. and the other is either you give me the behavior i expect or you will have a consequence. i.e. either you get your homework done, or you cant watch tv. the consequences have to be logical. you wouldnt put her in time out for not cleaning her room because they have nothing to do with each other. you would take away all her stuff because if she cant take care of it, she can have it removed until she does. most importantly is you have to be consistent and follow thru every time. a child will wait forever for the time you dont follow thru. then you have to start all over again. i hope this helps.