Also, praise the positive. Praise praise praise anytime you "catch" practicing good behaviours and manners. Don't just say "good girl" but praise the behaviours you want her to repeat. Positive reinforcement works, but it's not immediate.

There's a reason why this is the number one training method in dog training (and I'm not comparing kids to dogs, I have a 5 year old myself) but it works.

My daughter acts out for my attention so for me I try to limit as much negative attention as I can (so I don't reward the negative behaviours). Sounds like you have a different issue on your hands though.

Don't forget school is a big change for kids and it can be mentally and physically exhausting. I don't know if your kid is like mine, but at school and around others she is little miss manners and on her best behaviour. When she comes home and she's tired or cranky she just can't hold it in anymore. I'm not trying to excuse bad behaviour, but a level of understanding can go a long way. Just like we want others to understand us and our various illnesses and how they affect our behaviours and actions.

It takes time. I don't know how many corrections I've had to give on any given topic (eg "I don't like the way you are speaking to me right now"), but EVENTUALLY you can see it click in and to be honest it's pretty cool to see them thinking things through and making good choices on their own. It's like you can see the wheels turning in their heads. At least that is my experience.