I should have known. We just got home from visiting our kids and grandkids last night. I had a great time and didn't think about T too much, but I was exhausted. I wanted to talk about a few issues but didn't know which. I also had things hanging from my last session. I just couldn't settle down. My T never brings up anything from my emails to her, which always annoys me. She just wants to know how I feel NOW! So I kept going in circles, accomplishing nothing! I didn't feel connected to her. I didn't miss a session, so it's not that.

One issue is my hatred of how I look, and how I have trouble losing weight. I told her it's hard to talk about that with her because she doesn't have a problem. So I said I didn't want to talk about it, so she said "okay, so let's talk about something else." That comment annoyed me because I DID want to talk about it. In 5 years, I have not talked about that subject much at all.

The time was almost up so she held my hand for 5 minutes. When she asked how I felt, I said the usual things like safe, good, protected, I then said I felt like a child. She said "Then we have to grow that part up!"

What happened to accepting the child parts and letting them be? Instead, she sounded like my former T. She wants me to hold my husband's hand more since I said that felt good too.

I was frustrated when I left, and emailed her 4 "fat photos", and wrote some other stuff.

I haven't had a session like this in a long time. T didn't help me find a topic at all though I brought up a few.

Now I have to wait 2 weeks.

So, it's black and white for me again. I either have a close, connected feeling with my T or it feels like nothing at all. You can guess which state I'm in now.