I think I had a rather good day. I feel like things are starting to click (sort of) with the training that I am receiving. Sometimes I have a hard time expressing myself, which is frustrating, but today it was very easy, which was great. And I left work early to see my pdoc. Normally I have a hard time trying to explain how I'm feeling, but I was able to tell her exactly what is going on.

I have this.. lack of feeling. But it's not that robotic feeling like when you are on medication. I mean, I am on medication, but this is not the robotic thing. The only way I can explain it is that I have to make myself care about things that should come naturally to me, like enjoying a nice day for example. Everything is just... grey. Not hopeless, and not full of color. I am in no way complaining, because I've been on the hopeless side of the spectrum, so this is definitely an improvement. Maybe this is as good as it gets. If so, I can live with the grey. My pdoc suggested that I see a T, and recommended one in her practice. I told her it was okay for the T to give me a call. I'm willing to try, which I think says a lot. Maybe this is what I need to get some color back. Hope everyone is doing well.