Hi anielica

You have a right to your feelings and since you posted in the depression forum I am assuming that you battle with low moods that are distressing. I don't know your age but it seems that women struggle with hormonal imbalances most of their lives. Lucky us. I am in menopause and I even have periods of hormonal fluctuations. You are most probably dealing with depression shifts and hormonal shifts so there is a medical reason for your issues. As far as the job, is there anyway you could consider a career change if you are finding it mundane and it is causing you to feel guilty?

We all are entitled to our feelings and emotions no matter what circumstances that we are in. I try to keep my spiritual being in check all the time. I am not always successful but I try to be grateful for everything that I have. I also just got a little companion (in dog form) and it has helped me get my troubles off of myself. I also read books on being in the here and now. A book that helps me is (Wherever You Go There You Are) by Jon Kabat-Zinn. It is about mindfulness. It is about not letting our thoughts go into the past nor the future. All we have is now. I also try to be around people who I can be myself around. I think that is the key. It is a lonely feeling when we hide our weaknesses from others. I know that I can't always be strong. I think others are endeared when they see true emotion and feelings. Sometimes I can't hide my feelings no matter how hard I try. I was telling my Pastor that I shared his loss, and tears just started flowing. It was good for him and me. I think we need to feel and be accepted for our feelings. You are worthy to be cherished. You are worthy to be happy. Do whatever makes you happy. Life is so short and it is never too late to start something new or even start our life new. I wish you solace and only the very best. I hope this helped in some small way.