I am sorry to hear about your anger rage issues that you are experiencing (((Sinking Feeling)))

It's a challenge indeed being in a relationship where one side recognises what may need addressing or acknowledgment in order to move forward to enjoy a more productive relationship together.

I am sorry that this pushes you over the edge.

The reasons for your kids moving a little bit away from you may be to give you a little bit of space because they realise through the anger that you display that you are quite upset so they are giving you some space to breathe.

Yes, it's tricky when you try to bring up issues with your spouse and it gets put back on you and this seems to be a bit of a circle?

Well I am not entirely sure why she records the arguments. I am wondering if may have asked her about this. If I was recording someone in an argument. I'd have a very strong motive for doing so. I wonder what motivates her.

Lamactal is quite a good mood stabiliser.

However, please be kind to yourself. It will take a while because you still have to work up to an optimal level in your system.

I know how much you love your children.

This situation sounds to me like perhaps maybe you could see a mediator?

Are you seeking any support from someone in real life? Sometimes it really does help to speak to a professional in order to see something from a different perspective. Sometimes when somebody else explains something to us from their perspective; and it is a neutral third party; we may understand a bit better things that may be happening that we possibly may not have been originally aware of.

I think this sounds to me like your spouse has some very real issues and in addition just as importantly; I believe it sounds to me like you have some very real issues.

My wish for you is that you find some common ground.

A middle man who can articulate things to each other in order for both of you to gain a broader perspective.

You're not happy with the way things currently stand, understandably so.

I wish for you some comfort in this time of trouble.