hi confused4now
well it definitely sounds like something has changed. you are not confused about that. sometimes when spouses are having affairs they project the guilt on their SO and make it seem that they are the ones cheating. part of me wants to give him the benefit of the doubt and wonder if he is fearful of what you are doing when he is gone and having feelings of inadequacy since you are managing life without him. either way, it sounds like a discussion is in order. are you two able to have that conversation without tossing a bunch of blame around?Using i statements to talk about your feelings is the safest way to do this. I feel confused when i see all these behavioral changes like a lack of phone contact, heavy drinking, and a reduced sex life because i question what has happened that has led to this change. what i would like is to discuss what is going on in our relationship. if you are not able to discuss these matters without conflict, seeking the assistance of a professional would be helpful.

welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome