I don't think he did, not intentionally at least. I think he was doing his job and being a good salesman. And he was probably interested in me as a person, just not a love interest. As I may have said before, I think he knows his attractiveness with women, and I think he plays it up. I believe that, when you're a man and you grew up with an unstable/invalidating mother and then she ultimately abandons you by killing herself, you need affirmation from other women. So I don't think he had any ill intent. I think he's got his own emotional/mental demons he's battling. They're just not as big as mine. Which sort of pisses me off...how did he come through his childhood with a psychotic mother able to relate to people so much better than I? Oh, probably because he's an attractive guy, and women will always be around to nurture and support an attractive guy. (That, and he had a father and siblings. I was on my own.)

I blame myself a bit--I know my cycle. I saw it happening. In the beginning, I was rational about it enough to keep checking myself and putting the brakes on. And then all of the hormones and the good feeling took over and I was lost. I envy all those women I know who are like, "I knew from the moment I met him that this guy and I were going to get married." I've had a few times where I felt a connection like that. Where I just felt a sureness, like "This guy and I have a connection. There is a 'click'," without knowing them. And this guy was one of them. I didn't know about our commonalities after my second visit, but something about him clicked. And after the third visit, when we realized we had so many things in common, and especially after I checked out his music and found the thing about his mother, it really clicked. I was like, there is something about this guy. I was supposed to meet him. So I get what divine1966 is saying. But I do that as well--my mind runs away with me, and I'm fantasizing about things that I really shouldn't be because there isn't even any real connection.

I think I need to stop believing in that "fate" that people talk about or the "meant to be." Because the feeling I feel is just hormones. It's just chemistry. I mean, we had chemistry but so what? Our particular pheromones mixed well together, so what? I, personally, need to have that "click" in order to be interested in someone but I need to stop believing that it means I'm supposed to be with them. Because it never works out that way. And they obviously don't feel it the way I do.

I'm really sad, but mainly because I liked talking to him. I really did want to know more about him. That, and he did a really good job on my hair .