In my opinion there is little worse than actual rejection or abandonment for a borderline. Most of the time its just in your head - but when its REAL, it kind of reinforces everything you ever thought. Only makes it that much harder to trust someone next time. Every person has pain during abandonment and struggles to rebuild ability to trust people again, but for a borderline the pain is excruciating. For me its to the point of suicidal thoughts or self harm. And its horrible.

Imagine if you replace the YOU in this situation with your best friend or someone you really care about. Just remove yourself entirely and replace yourself with someone you love. They are suffering and in pain. What would you tell him/her? What words of comfort would you use? Literally go through the process of replacing you with someone you love, and comfort him or her. Then after that image gets comfortable, put yourself back in the scene - and repeat the comforting process. No matter what - even if you did something horrible - NO ONE deserves suffering. Not even you, no matter how horrible you think you are.