I am sure that many of you will read my title and right off the bat want to tell me to get out of this relationship, but it just isn't so simple...
I have been with my boyfriend since I was 20 years old. We met the summer before senior year of college at a community service event. We hit it off instantly. There was instant chemistry and we fell hard and fast into love. Second semester of senior year, he got an internship in Boston and moved 5 hours away. We struggled through the distance over the next year and a half while I finished my 5 year program. We hit some bumps, had some trust issues, but ultimately survived our first hurdle. I moved out to Boston shortly after graduating and we rekindled our relationship. We have always had the best friendship. We laugh a lot together and enjoy many of the same activities and interests. We have similar values and political leanings. Our families get along really well, we often all do holidays together. It all feels so right.

Around year 4, we decided to move in together. We had some ups and we had some downs. Around year 5, I started a casual conversation asking him if he ever thought about getting married someday...big mistake. He told me that we were no where near ready for that and that I had a lot to work on. A lot of what he said was fair criticism, however harsh it sounds. I was still coming out of the post-graduate party phase, and he was kind of over it. I had a series of jobs that I had been fired from and needed to get my **** together. As much as it hurt to hear, it was what I needed to motivate myself to get back on track.

By year 6 I had made significant improvements, but he still seemed hesitant. Neither of us were making enough money to put into savings accounts, just enough to live comfortably on. I know finances can play a lot in the marriage question. His company began talking about relocating to Charlotte, NC. He was noticeably more stressed in general. He is not the kind of guy who likes to talk about his feelings though. You have to know how to read him. I am starting to get a little bit anxious about marriage, but mostly I am just trying to be positive and focus on myself.

Year 7 is amazing its like we have fell deeply in love with each other all over again. The only problem is the relocation issue is starting to become very real and he is faced with having to make a decision whether to stay with this same company or leave. He works in professional racing, so it makes sense that they want to move to Charlotte. However, I work for a local Boston area University and am completing my Masters there, free of charge. I clearly cannot pass this opportunity up, so eventually the decision is made that he will move to Charlotte on a 1 year contract. He got a significant raise, and he began to make plans to bolster his savings big time. I also picked up a part-time non-profit job in my field at this time and am bolsting my savings as well. All seems to be heading towards building a life together...or so I hope.

Now here we are, heading into year 8 [July 2nd] and he is about 7 months into his contract. At this point, he is 29 and I am 28 and everyone is asking when we are going to get married. I am getting increasingly anxious about the situation and often find myself crying not only out of missing him being gone, but because I am afraid that there may not be a ring after yet another year of waiting for him to be ready. I have expressed my feelings to him, but he acts strange and never really makes me feel better. He says he loves me and that he is committed to this relationship, but when I spoke with him today he told me he doesn't have a plan yet for either leaving Charlotte, staying, or whatever else lay in our future. It scares me so much that I am having crippling anxiety. I cry myself to sleep sometimes and don't know what to do about it.

Am I crazy to feel this way? Am I being unreasonable to expect him to think of proposing after 8 years? I don't know whether I am dragging myself through undue misery or if I am being patient waiting for someone to get their ducks in a row. I love this person with all my heart. We have been through some tough times and always come out stronger, but I am tired of waiting and tired of feeling this way.