Needing to talk. Here's a bit of background: I have recently had my first appointment with a new psychiatrist and unlike my previous one (who is retiring), the new one doesn't typically do psychotherapy sessions. Although he said I could call for a session to talk between now and the next appointment 2 months from now, I'd rather just seek out a therapist and hope I'm not turned away when I tell them all that has built up in my mind over several weeks without speaking to anyone.

I'm really just not doing well. These changes in doctors and the stress transitioning has brought, and being without much of a goal for the future besides surviving my job for the next couple of months--I feel exhausted with trying, like what's the point now. Nothing more can fix me and bearing the rest of my life with how my mind works seems not worth the trouble, since I have nothing/no one to live for anyway. The money I make at work seems to be cash just to pay for my burial and the box to throw me in.

Overall it seems to be truer that things haven't gotten better, only different. A different kind of complicated that leaves me just as stuck as before. So, maybe I should be turned away now. Maybe I have really been a waste of time all along.