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Apr 15, 2015, 09:51 PM
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Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 472
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3
I am really happy to know that you are well enough to be discharged.  Yay!
I see this as a good step. You had talked previously about going inpatient. I wonder if there can be some accountability though. For example, after speaking with T, how about if you give us a balanced report about the pros and cons as T presented them to you? And with your own assessment of them.
I wonder if there could be some thought devoted to positive things to start, in addition to negative things to stop. So if pacing stops, and nothing else changes, then there is a void in your life and some ED-related behavior is liable to move into the void. So I ask you: what small healthy behavior can you introduce/reintroduce into your life?
With regard to cutting down pacing, can a goal be expressed in measurable terms? e.g. I will pace less than ____ minutes per day. With a specific, measurable goal, you can readily see whether or not progress is occurring.
Right now as I see things we just want to start going in a healthy direction. For now, anything that helps move the direction towards health is enough. But do find out what T thinks about this. |
I know, thank goodness, it's been forever. So happy to be going home.
I do probably need some accountability because I'm fighting this tooth and nail and rationalizing and trying to come up with any and every excuse in the world why inpatient wouldn't possibly work. I need to go, but I really, really don't want to right now. Not that I want things to stay how they are, maybe I'm just afraid of change? Maybe I don't want to put all the work in that I know it's going to require? I don't know. I just know I'm terrified and angry and really resistant right now towards inpatient treatment.
I think though, that instead of having my therapist presenting the pros and cons, it would help me more to try to objectively make a list of pros and cons and then share it with her and see if she agrees. And of course I'd love to share it with y'all. I think that's kind of what you were saying, only maybe a little role reversal.
As to what positive behavior I can introduce, this one's a lot harder. So much of my time is spent on just getting by or just making it through whatever crisis is going on, I don't seem to have time to or haven't been able to find time for much positive. I don't even know what I like anymore to be honest. I guess, two things come to mind. 1) journaling's helpful for me. I could commit to spending 30 min/day journaling. I've got a lot going on. There' s got to be something for me to write about. 2) I've lost touch with a lot of my friends/family. I could commit to spending 15 min/day e-mailing, facebook, talking on the phone, in general catching up.
Regarding the pacing, I probably pace 5-10 min out of every hour, 17 or 18 hrs/day. I can commit to not going over 10 min any given hour and trying to keep it closer to 5 and cutting down to 14 hrs/day.
Overall, there's a lot more I should be doing. Career stuff, other ED behaviors etc and I do want to start working on that soon, I NEED to start working on that stuff soon. I had my electrolytes and a CBC drawn yesterday after they skipped labs for a couple days because my electrolytes hadn't been too terrible and pretty much everything - my sodium, phosphorus, calcium, hemoglobin, magnesium, and potassium came back low with my potassium, magnesium and sodium critical. And then they did an EKG which was abnormal, so it turned into a big drama. It sucked. Obviously they corrected everything IV, but there's obviously a bigger issue that I need to change. I'm not going to get out of here if I keep coming back with critical labs. And I want out. It's just...I'm so overwhelmed by everything right now, I'm not sure I can do a whole lot more, as pathetic as that is.
Am I just making excuses? Is this reasonable to start with?
Sorry for the length. This was good for me to think about.
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