We really do care about you Growly. Sometimes they can be a fluke but it's not impossible for a crisis chat to be helpful for you. Even if to keep you calm long enough to restore a little more tolerance that you've been losing. If you don't trust yourself, please continue to reach out to the crisis chat people or anyone willing to listen. Even if you contact a friend and don't tell them why you are contacting them. We all want you safe and not to feel like you are alone in your struggle.