(((Growlycat)))
Please call them both up tomorrow and un-cancel. Both of them at once - this is a big deal, you're hitting something major and you need to talk about it. And do talk to the crisis people. 
__________________
'...
At poor peace I sing
To you strangers (though song
Is a burning and crested act,
The fire of birds in
The world's turning wood,
For my sawn, splay sounds,)
...'
Dylan Thomas, Author's Prologue
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