Hey...thanks everyone for your support.

I'm doing alright. I went out tonight with some of my emergency department crew. The husband of one of the PA's I work with is a CPA and they were celebrating the end of tax season, so we went out to a local brew pub (any excuse to go out is good for the ER people). It was good for me; it reminded me that people do like and care about me. At the very least, I'm a smart, good worker and they respect me. But beyond that, hey, they like my personality too. This particular PA has a few foster kids and, though she doesn't know the specifics of my childhood, she knows I was a foster kid and she cares about my success in graduating from nursing school and beyond. So anyway...yeah. I'm glad this little outing came at this particular time. I needed some perspective. I'm not perfect when it comes to relationships, but I'm not totally awful, either. So this guy didn't like me, so what? It's his loss. True, I repeat this cycle over and over but the point is that I'm not a total failure when it comes to relating to people because I work with a lot of people who like and care for me. And that's something.

And I was thinking on the way home...I'm acting like this guy is 100% emotionally stable when I'm not sure that is the case. He and I are likely two sides of the same coin, emotionally. He's just as effed up as I am, in some ways. Why am I beating myself up about this when I push people away all the damn time? It's not that I'm rejecting them. I'm just...pushing them away because that's what I do. Whatever, Idk, I'm over it. Eff him. Bye, Felicia. PS Mr. Scorpio, have fun with your yoga instructor/ballet dancer chic that may be much thinner and way more flexible but is so not as pretty as me and, I guarantee, not as smart or interesting. Get your kicks running up and down the shores of Lake Michigan building random fires like you've been posting on Instagram because that's only going to be fun for about five minutes. Or, literally, four months because we live in Michigan. Wait 'til fall when you're inside and have to have a conversation. #shouldapickedmesucker