Thanks for your advice. I'm 50 years old and I have been to about 12 drug rehab programs. And I've had clean time in the past.

I've even started a couple businesses during my clean times and I did very well. The last business I had I got so much work I was able to hire 2 girls to help me! But as soon as I relapsed the business went down hill. Fast.

Sometimes I think about suicide. I don't know how else to end this thing I call a life. Most of the times I'll tell myself...I don't want to get high.

But there I go.....buying drugs and consuming them :-(