Hello helpless. I truly do feel for you. being clinically depressed is a very real struggle that people in general don't understand. The cause of depression is also usually very complex and difficult to understand ourselves. I remember reading in a book that people who suffer from depression/trauma/anxiety are usually accused if being spiritually or morally sick by society. Its so true because people do not understand. As for why God allows you to suffer remember there is a difference between causing you to suffer and allowing you to suffer. Maybe you can think of depression as a sign that something is wrong in your life that you need to investigate. Its better than thinking that you are cursed/morally backward/ or abandoned by God. And it's more in harmony with what depression really is, a symptom indicating something is wrong. Any thoughts as to why you might be feeling depressed? I love helping others who are going through the same things that I have :-)