I am sorry that you are caught in this limbo of not knowing. it must be awful feeling so powerless in constant wonder. you can always choose the positive route in not knowing. people leave for many reasons when they are feeling down. it may be that she admitted herself to the hospital and is unable to access a computer. whatever the reason, you can choose to hope the best and believe in it. i lost a friend from this site once. i somehow thought it was my fault because i wasnt able to help her enough. but in the end, i was content knowing she was in a better place as corny as that sounds. her suffering was ended. and i was at peace for her with that.