Hi FallingTears,
I managed to refrain from doing more last night, but the urges are still really strong today. I *think* I left T a message last night asking for support, but I'm not really sure. I was very out of it by the time I seriously thought about calling her. I guess if she returns my call today, then I left her a message. If not, then I only meant to. She had mentioned having a chunk of time today to be able to at least check in over the phone, so if I don't hear from her around that time, I will call...
Had a really disturbing yet insightful dream last night. I think it too is contributing to the intensity of the urges.
A friend mentioned something last night that was hard to hear, but she was likely right. Two of my biggest triggers around my flashbacks are things that are supposed to help you calm down and center. Instead, they remind me of the situations in the flashbacks. It's only been recently that they have been so triggering, but I need to figure out how to get them not to be triggering...