I may be off-base but I think you should be gentle with yourself.

Seems you were frustrated with yourself(?) for not being able to open up & maybe at her as well for not reading you properly? If the latter, may I gently suggest that maybe she couldn't 'read' you seeing you weren't saying the words... or maybe she was being dense!

I think you are hard on yourself because you say you emailed her 4 'fat' photos. The wording seems as if... you are/were trying to put yourself down... trying to push her away? or to punish yourself? As in, "see how bad/ugly I am; now do you still love me anyway?" Not sure if there is any validity in it, just my perception from what you wrote. As for the child part. I think (speculating) maybe she saw the pain you were in, you know vulnerability of child part, so she said if this child would grow up they'd be less vulnerable and have an armor or protective shield...

I know it's hard to have to stew in all this for 2 weeks but see it only as a blip on the road.