You keep saying that...I don't think you actually are hearing what I'm saying. Either that, or you do not have an understanding of BPD. I'm not sure.

You know, the situation is over, I've dealt with it and him and I'm done with this thread. But still...I'm not sure how to put it to you any more clearly; I don't know that I'm forcing things. If I knew that I was, I wouldn't do it. Yelling at me (typing in all caps) to not force things is not helpful and it hurts my feelings. I am telling you all, I don't understand how relationships work. I don't know how to read people. People have been as attracted to me as I have to them, apparently (I was told way after the fact), and it has gone right over my head so no, it is not always obvious. So yell all you want, I DON'T KNOW THAT I AM FORCING ANYTHING. I DON'T GET IT. When I say I wasn't raised with the blueprints, I'm talking about those core values and beliefs we're taught as children--I was not taught very functional ones. Great if you can figure it out for yourself. I haven't been very successful in doing so. And my mother discouraged social interaction in me growing up--I wasn't allowed to have friends at some points in my childhood. So it's not surprising that interaction feels unnatural to me.

What part of my saying I don't understand this stuff do you not understand? If nearly two decades of therapy has only broken the surface, do you honestly think that yelling at me here is going to do it?

Jeez. Thanks anyway.