Pretty.lonely, you have said in your post that you currently have an 'amazing job' at a bank, a 'gorgeous two bedroom apartment', and a mother who does 'absolutely everything to help [you] and keep [you] healthy and happy'. Use these positives to move forward with your life. Your ex-boyfriend broke up with you because he found out you were planning to go back to doing escort services in order to pay $600 in deductibles for car accident insurance. I can understand how finding this out affected him in the way it did. You have the power within yourself to change your life. With time, you may be able to regain your ex-boyfriend's trust - but what you really need to focus on, especially right now, is yourself. Consider talking to your mother - maybe it is the right thing to do, maybe not, you are the best judge. Are you seeing a therapist?