ended up calling T and admitted how badly this particular assignment had messed me up (which, if I take a step back, isn't as bad as similar stuff has done in the past. It's just "really bad" compared to the last 6 months).
I committed to refraining from more cutting till I see her tomorrow. I feel bad about going in tomorrow though. I know she has a shortened week again this week, and I am wasting her time with all this crap.
I just need ot find something to make the urges stop. If I could get them to stop, I wouldn't be so messed-up. But something switched on in my head yesterday and I don't get a break from the uges at all. Even my nightmares feed into them... This really sucks.