Ugh. It's one thing to blurt out something like that during an heated discussion, quite another to type it in a message and send it to a neighbor.

(Well, maybe if the neighbor was her best friend and confidant, someone who knew the deal well enough to understand that you are not experiencing a "pity party." A poor choice of words borne of your wife's frustration at the moment, and not a reflection on you. Also that the neighbor isn't given to gossiping.)

But that's just speculation on my part. I've have similar situations over the years but never anything on that level, so all I can offer is

I would think a couples counselor could help, although my wife and I have never seen one so I can't say for sure. I'm new here but I see there are quite a few threads about couples therapy over in the Relationships & Communication sub-forum. Or maybe just repost over there? It seems to be a very active forum.

Personally I love heartfelt tirades provided they aren't abusive or grossly unfair (admittedly difficult to detect while the rant is tumbling out). I have a terrible time opening up, and I flat can't do it on a forum where everyone seems to restrained and walking on eggshells all the time. :-)