Thank you all...it means a lot to me that you took the time to respond so very thoughtfully. I wish I could say it comes and goes, but unfortunately, these feelings aren't going away. It's to the point where I simply cannot be in the same room with my husband anymore because he is constantly saying/doing something that just makes me want to scream.

Sideblinded: As far as keeping my spiritual being in check, God knows (literally) that I'm trying so hard to do this. It was a decent day today and up until the end of night I thought today was an upswing day. And here I am, late at night, not sleeping. I will check out the book you mentioned though.

unhappydaze: Thank you for the kind words...sounds like you can definitely relate. It's hard being a perfectionist and a parent because I do always compare myself to those "ideal" parents (of course, we both know that there is no such thing...just people who hide their insecurities better! lol)

I am looking for other career paths, but the great thing about my current situation is the amount of time I get to be home with my children. The new job has to be comparable to that amount of time I get at home. Until then, power through. So many thoughts, but can't get them all down in a logical order. I think my biggest hang up by far right now is my relationship with my husband and the sad thing is I can't fix it. When I try, he does/says something that makes me want to throw my hands up in the air and say screw it...why should I be the one to change?

Don't even know where to start...